You're Not Alone: The Gospel's Message for a Struggling Friend

A letter to a friend in the pews...

Dear Friend,

Perhaps you’ve wondered where I’ve been. Perhaps you’ve missed me. Perhaps you’ve worried about me. I’m okay right now. I’ve been gone a while, and while I haven’t been okay the whole time, I’m okay now. Thank you for your concern.

What have I been up to? I’ve been spending this time in self-care, doing the things I know I need to do in order to be healthy. Things like meditation and exercise, practicing what I’ve learned in therapy. Oh, but you can see through that, can’t you? I really shouldn’t lie to you. The truth is, some of my time away has been self-care, but some of it has been giving in to the darkness, the worry, the sad voices. You know the voices, the ones that tell me that I need to back off, that I need to shut up, that I need to be alone. The ones that tell me I’m unworthy of love, unworthy of grace. I’ve given into them a lot. And of course they’re the exact thing I need self-care for.

So, I’ve been up and down. And I wonder what you think of that. I wonder what you think when you hear about my troubles, about the questions I continue to struggle with. Does it bring you some comfort, to know that you’re not the only one who hears the good news of grace, and yet can’t seem to believe it? Does it bring you hope to know that a leader in the church struggles as much as you do?

Or does it do the opposite – does it make you question whether the good news is real? After all, I am the leader, the pastor – the one who preaches the good news, the one who pours the baptismal water of promise, who breaks the bread of Christ’s covenant of love. Does my struggle make you question whether there’s any truth to this news? Whether your faith is in the wrong place, if even a spiritual leader is so fragile?

… read the rest over on Scholtes-Blog.