Welcome to Issue #11 of Biblia Luna! In this weekly newsletter, I share a few things each week related to mental illness and faith.
Crazy Lectionary: 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time
The gospel reading for Sunday, October 23 is Luke 18:9-14. In this pericope, Jesus tells a brief parable about two men praying in the temple. One is a Pharisee who prays loudly in thanksgiving to God that he is such a wonderful person. The other is a tax collector stands far off, “beating his breast,” who prays like this: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Jesus says that it is the second man who leaves justified.
This parable can tell us something about humility, and about how we all come before God as beggars. This tax collector comes before God begging for mercy, knowing that he doesn’t deserve it. And the good news of the Gospel is that he receives that mercy, simply by asking for it. But for someone with depression, this prayer can take on a darker tone.
It’s easy for someone with depression to hear the cry of the tax collector, and make it their own. What’s often harder to do is to hear the words of Jesus afterward, that they are forgiven and justified. I sometimes this of this in terms of the Latin phrase simul iustus et peccator, often translated as “simultaneously saint and sinner.” According to Lutheran theology (informed, in part, by this scripture passage), we are sinners through and through, just like the tax collector. We have messed up, repeatedly, and we will do it again. However, that’s not the end. Simul iustus et peccator also means that through the death and resurrection of Jesus, God has forgiven us, justified us, made us holy. And that means we are able to hold our heads high, sing praises, and serve our neighbor. It’s a dichotomy: we are at the same time broken and sinful; and also saved, beloved, and holy. Simul iustus et peccator.
In my book Darkwater: A Pastor’s Memoir of Depression and Faith, I describe my own relationship with simul iustus et peccator like this:
I preach and teach this, and I believe this; to me, it’s part of talking about grace. Even when depressed, I still teach and preach grace. And I also believe them – for everybody else. But when depression kicks up, I find that I don’t believe it for myself. I don’t believe that I am iustus at all. In those times, I believe that I am the exception to the rule that God loves everyone. Nonetheless, I have no trouble remembering that I am peccator, sinner, depraved, worthless, unloved, and unlovable. They say the devil knows scripture as well as any saint, but can twist and misuse it. Depression is my own personal devil in this way, a dark voice who speaks in my head.
It’s so important to remind people that this really is for them. Sometimes it takes hearing it over and over and over again. Sometimes it can get very tiring for the person trying to convince them (or should I say “us.”) But it takes patience. We’re not lost causes , but we are very slow to remember sometimes – that’s just the nature of the illness.
Helpful Resource
I recently finished reading You Are Not Alone: The NAMI Guide to Navigating Mental Health by Dr. Ken Duckworth. It’s a great resource – I think it would be the perfect book for someone who finds themselves in need of mental health resources (whether for themselves or a loved one), and doesn’t know where to begin. Duckworth describes in great detail how to maneuver through the complicated and often confusing mental health system in the United States, suggesting the best ways to look into medication, how to begin talk therapy, and how to be an advocate for someone you love. It’s an easy read, and you can read it cover-to-cover like I did, but it might be even more helpful as a coffee table book, to use as necessary, reading certain chapters when you need them. Click here for more information.
Darkwater Update
Not too much to report here – I now have three podcast interviews recorded, and I’ll let you know when and where they are when they drop!
Biblia Blessing
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it. (1 Corinthians 10:13, The Message)