Kind and Unkind Voices

Biblia Luna #74

Welcome to Issue #74 of Biblia Luna, the weekly newsletter about the intersection of mental illness and faith, written by a pastor who lives with depression. I put the holy back in melancholy!

Hopefully Tomorrow: The Shepherd’s Voice

Today is called “Good Shepherd Sunday” in a lot of Christian churches. This is because today, the Fourth Sunday of Easter, several of the readings are connected to Jesus’ announcement that he is the Good Shepherd of the sheep, who leads us, guides us, and comforts us. (Us, of course, being the sheep.)

This year, one thing that struck me was the voice of the shepherd. Jesus says, “I know my own, and my own know me,” and he says that the sheep “listen to his voice.” I’m no expert on sheep, but I’ve learned that indeed, sheep recognize the voice of their shepherd, and they follow that voice. In my sermon this morning, I spoke briefly about all the voices out in the world who are trying to be our shepherd. Here’s an excerpt from the sermon:

Voices and voices bleating and bleating that you don’t have enough. That you’re not good enough. You’re not doing it right. You’re not keeping up. You’re doing too much. You’re not doing enough. You don’t have enough. You’re not good enough. But I can fix you. My product can fix you. My book can fix you. The right candidate can fix you. Four easy payments of 19.95 can fix you. Because you don’t have enough. You’re not good enough.

So many voices. So much noise.

I spoke about the importance of listening for the true voice of the Good Shepherd, above and amid all the din. And all this is true, I think. We do hear these voices from outside ourselves. But we also, at least those of us with mental illness, hear voices from within telling ourselves things like this as well. We hear voices within telling us that we are worthless, that we are more trouble than we’re worth. Voices within telling us that we are unloved and unlovable. Voices within telling us that we always make mistakes, that we should have known better, that we are better off dead.

All these inner voices tell us, over and over again, that the voice of the Good Shepherd is wrong about us. And it makes it so hard to hear that loving, gentle voice. From one standpoint, my book Darkwater, which tells my own story of living with both depression and faith, is simply the story of me hearing these two voices, the “Dark Voice” (as I call it) of depression, and the voice of the Good Shepherd.

The good news for those of us who hear these inner voices is this: they do not win in the end. The good news for those of us who hear these inner voices is this: the voice of the Good Shepherd will never, ever give up. The voice of the Good Shepherd will always keep calling, always keep beckoning, always keep loving. The voice of the Good Shepherd is always there.

The voice of the Good Shepherd usually comes to us through other people. I’ll be that voice for you right now: God loves you, even when you don’t love yourself. God loves you, even when you don’t feel it. God loves you; yes, even you. God loves you. And God will never let you go.

Mental Health in the News

Rise and grind? Working late, volatile hours may lead to depression, illness by 50 (NPR)

How to give kids autonomy? 'Anxious Generation' author says a license to roam helps (NPR)

Brain stimulation treatment may improve depression, anxiety in older adults (Science Daily)

Speaking Engagements

I am always looking for places to come and share my story of light shining in the darkness of mental illness, and how congregations can offer welcome and support to people with mental illness. I’m happy to travel throughout eastern PA and central NJ, or to participate via Zoom. Click here for more information.

Biblia Blessing

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4, New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition)